Pyjamas All Day
Written by Beau Rikefe
Some years ago, after I had my first child, my midwife paid me a home visit. She could see that I was really struggling. Struggling to stay on top of housework, cooking, sleeping and also entertaining family and well wishers who had come to visit our newborn.
It shows that you’re in good company when you have family and friends who are excited about your new bundle of joy and are eager to meet them. To be honest, these are the type of people you want in your corner, people who rejoice with you. In the first few weeks after giving birth though, there is a big shift in your life where you are no longer in the centre. You have a little person right in the middle of it. This little person depends on you for just about everything. It can be very overwhelming, and even more so when there are other issues that need your attention.
In those first few weeks I had a house full of guests who all meant really well. In retrospect, I didn’t have to buy any baby clothes for about a year. But in those days I was terribly stressed.
I remember my midwife looked at me and smiled. She suggested that I should change back into my pyjamas after my morning shower, and spend all day in my night clothes. "People are more likely to offer help to you when you’re at home in your night clothes," she said. It worked like a charm. It wasn’t long before I had a friend offer to make me a meal, and then another offering to do the vacuuming.
The rationale, according to my midwife, was that if I was wearing jeans and a leopard print top I might have given the impression that I had everything under control, in fact so much so that I was even able to coordinate my outfit!
Honestly, after the birth of a child, you need all the help you can get. Especially practical help. Wearing pyjamas helps people see you need that help. Obviously, staying in your pyjamas all day might not work if you want that daily Instagram ‘fashionista’ photo of yourself postpartum, but it might be better to have a clean house and practical help to keep your sanity intact. I think good mental help trumps fashionista everytime.